My manager received the following item of spam in his inbox the other day:
Subject: Order to Cyprus
I will like to order some products in your company. But i want to know if you
do ship to Cyprus and if Visa or Master Card is accepted. Please, kindly let
me know if you can assist me with the order. And, please, do not forget to
include your web page or price list of the available items in stock in your
reply to my request.
I await your quick and pleasant reply as soon as you receive my email. And, i
will be very glad if my email is treated with a great concern.
He could have just ignored it but instead decided to reply. His response was:
We sell water. Does Cyprus need water? It’s very heavy and Cyprus is a long way so will cost a lot to ship. It also depends on how long you need it to last. For example an average person in Sydney uses around 330 litres a day. That’s about three baths full of water. Have you ever tried to pick up a bath full of water? I tried once and I’m still having physio on my back.
I presume you would want more than a day’s worth. You can’t really live more than a few days without water so you should think seriously about more than a day, perhaps a year. I can send you detailed quote, but ballpark I reckon it would be somewhere in the region of half a million Australian dollars. Not sure what that is in Cyprus currency, but it’s quite a lot. Mastercard is fine but you might want to give the bank a heads up that a large purchase will be coming out. Hopefully they’ll up your limit.
We haven’t got great pictures of water on our website, but if you turn your tap on, ours looks pretty much the same. Ours tastes much nicer though.
Does that work for you? Let me know and I’ll get a detailed quote to you.
Do you see people? Do you see the crazies I have to work with every day?