I met Charles Dickens today

On the train ride to work this morning, I was peacefully reading my dumbo feather magazine when along came a Serenity Interrupter.

A Serenity Interrupter is my term for those frightfully annoying types that decide to sit next to you on the train when there are plenty of other seats available. They then decide to start talking to you, even though it’s clear you are reading/texting/thinking deeply. They all seem to catch the Parramatta line.

SI:  I’m really tired today. My Missus threw me outta da house last night and I had to sleep in a stolen car in Newtown. Now I’m on my way to Parramatta to borrow $50 from someone.

Me out loud: Oh. Well, that’s no good.
Me in my head: Please don’t interrupt my serenity.  

SI: What’s that book you’re reading?

Me out loud: It’s a magazine actually, dumbo feather. Have you heard of it?
Me in my head: Please say no and then leave me TO READ IT!

SI: Oh yes of course! Some of my work is probably in there. I’m a writer. A well published writer.

Me out loud: Really? Do you write for magazines?
Me in my head: I actually don’t care, why am I asking you questions?

SI: No. I write books.

Me out loud:
Oh.
Me in my head: Please leave me alone now.

SI: I’ve written lots of books. Famous books. You’d have read some for sure.

Me out loud: Really? What have you written?
Me in my head: Why am I still talking to you?

SI: I wrote Great Expectations. Have you heard of that? And David Copperfield?

Me out loud: Oh! So you’re name is Charles Dickens then?
Me in my head:  Wow, this guy must be like 200 years old. He looks good for his age.

SI: Who?

Me out loud: Charles Dickens. Is that your name? I’m sure my copy of Great Expectations says it was written by Charles Dickens.
Me in my head: I thought Charles Dickens would have an English accent.

SI: Oh. Yep. That’s me. Charles Dickens.

Me out loud: Well I’m pleased to meet you Charles Dickens. I’ve never met a famous author before.
Me in my head: I should really be more friendly on the train. You never know who you might meet.

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3 thoughts on “I met Charles Dickens today

  1. you should have asked him if he also talks to Elvis and sees leprechauns in the back yard! What a fruitcake, but you handled that really well! Wish I could have met Charles Dickens. All I get is ex-cons needing $5…

  2. Firstly, WTF. Secondly, is the Parramatta line a conduit to a universe that is both like, and unlike, our own, where time and life as we know it dances along merrily to the beat of its own literary scene? If so, that Charles Dickens really needs to lift his game – ours could totally take him. (If that was possible, y’know, from the grave…) Thirdly, I wish Janine Out Loud had stolen Janine In Her Head’s line, and asked Charlie about his English accent, perhaps with a jaunty “we say it this way, how do you say it your way”. Twould be hilarity to run with that one :)

  3. My favourite is “Our Mutual Friend”…I wonder if he wrote that one too;) lol. Now something strange just happened (besides this guy). I just read your “crazy ones” post & it suddenly disappeared…or am I the crazy one? Hmmm…Tomas x

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