Manners are dead, long live good manners!

It’s a shame that people don’t really mind their manners anymore. Good manners are lovely. And sadly, they are also quite underrated in our modern society.

I certainly can’t claim that I am the most polite, well mannered person on earth.  But I do think there are easy ways for all of us to lift our game in the manners department.

At the risk of sounding like a haughty n00b, here’s modern etiquette according to Neen:

1)      When you are invited to someone’s house, never turn up empty handed.  

2)      Do not file or cut your nails on public transport. This is socially unacceptable and, frankly, if caught, should result in you being sent to live in a penal colony with other feral minded people.

3)      Never assume that you are invited to a wedding. The cost per head of wedding guests is generally quite ludicrous. Unless you are the bride or groom, don’t ever think you’re automatically on the guest list.

4)      If you ARE invited to a wedding;
– Don’t ask if you can bring a guest (for reason mentioned above)
– Always take a gift
– Don’t wear jeans under any circumstances. It doesn’t matter if the groom is planning to wear jeans, he’s the groom, he can do whatever he likes. You are a guest, you cannot
– Don’t bring your children unless their name was on the invite.

5)      When you buy someone a gift, don’t follow the ‘I like this, so they will too’ rule. Buy something you think they would like, that matches their style and taste, not yours. It really is the thought that counts.

6)      If you are invited to something, RSVP by the date given on the invite.

7)      Don’t keep people waiting more than 5 minutes.

8)      Don’t criticise the products on sale or the price of items in a shop. If you don’t like what’s there or can’t afford it, just walk out.

9)      Return phone calls, reply to emails.

10)   Always send your friend’s a message or call them for their birthday.

11)   Don’t show disgust or criticise what other people like to eat or drink. For example if you strongly dislike vegetarian products made by Sanitarium, perhaps say ‘No thanks’ instead of ‘Don’t let that filth touch my food’. (Ok this is one I clearly need to work on).

12)   When you’re out with someone, don’t take a phone call that you know will last more than a few minutes.

13)   Don’t interrupt people while they are talking.

14)   Start eating only when everyone’s food has arrived or been served (Mel is training Ian on this one, lol).

15)   Never assume that someone else should pay for you just because they earn more money.

16)   If someone does pay for you, thank them. More than once.

17)   If someone cooks dinner for you, give feedback on the food they have prepared.

18)   When you are sent a card or delivered balloons or flowers, acknowledge that you have received them.

19)   Cover your mouth when you cough.

20)   Don’t turn up unannounced and don’t overstay your welcome.

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5 thoughts on “Manners are dead, long live good manners!

  1. Oh dear, I do fear that I have broken quite a few of these this year! I would like to think that for some of those rules, if it’s an accident or a once off it isn’t too bad…but I guess to be a repeat offender reall is poor form! And I must say, that I believe that if people insist that u begin eating b4 them if it looks like their dinners are not coming anytime too soon then that’s ok! They shouldn’t insist if they feel otherwise! Too confusing!

    Slthough I agree with most of urs, my main list is alot shorter (just some bare basics to make life more pleasant!).

    # be punctual: or if ur going to be late (even by a few minutes), text or call – what is the use of a mobile phone if u don’t use it!

    # say please and thankyou

    # wait ur turn in a line – if ur not sure if someone was before u (eg at a deli or bakery), suggest that perhaps that lady/gentleman was in front of you, and give them the chance to agree/disagree.

    But seriously, please, thankyou and excuse me really go a long way, but I think that children today aren’t being taught these basics (therefore they will never reach ur standards!). My dear sister didn’t want to teach her boy to say please etc cos she wanted it to come naturally to him. IT DOESNT!!! I’d better stop ranting now! Wishing u a very happy week! X

  2. Yes it’s the repeat offenses that I think are bad. We can’t all be perfect all the time :)
    And I agree, if you say that people should start, then they should start. I don’t think people would feel that was rude.

    Cracks me up that your sister thinks her kids will learn to say please and thank you. How do they learn anything if they aren’t taught? Tut, tut.

  3. I am seriously cacking myself right now! you are on a ROLL woman!
    I agree with most of them, although I am quite horrified to find myself doing a few of these…but I dont agree with the nail file one – I carry my nail file everywhere and am not apologising for it! I actually just used it while on the phone at work – and I just checked with deskbuddy Phil who says he’s OK with me filing my nails but if I cracked out the clippers he’d move!!! ;)

  4. But Miss Mel if you were sitting next to someone on the train and all the nail dust from their filing was blowing onto you would you like it? I rest my case.

    Thanks adopted cousin, I think I could have a future career at Rosemary Shrager ;)

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